I am finally back home after 34 nights of being away. The food in the hotel was nice, the gym was free but after night 25 I was literally counting every second of the day. Waking up to the fresh smell of fog in the morning as I left home this morning reminded me that no matter where you go, home will always be home.

It’s been great coming back. I found a whole bunch of spinach that I shared with family, neighbors and friends and I am yet to see how that next harvest will go.

Anyhow, back to the article of the day. Yesterday I was asked a two questions that got me thinking. After church I went for choir rehearsal and someone saw my engagement ring. They have been looking at me for sometimes, seeing me for the first time so it probably took them longer to ask. Eventually she came up to me and said “so you are a big lady” . Surprised, I responded, “It depends on what big is to you”. She later asked me how old I was to which I gladly replied saying I am 27. Off we continued singing.

After that I went to drop spinach at a friend’s house and she also saw the ring to which she congratulated me and said “so soon you’ll be leaving us”. A little surprised I asked for clarity and to which she said she just assumed we will move to my husbands to-be place. Me being typical about money, I then replied saying “It does not make sense to start renting whilst I have a house’. She then responded to say would my man want to move in my house?’

None of these situations are unique to me and they occur in the society that we live in. These has been formed over the years and passed onto generations by those who raised us. But as we grow old we need to learn the spirit of discernment. We need to be able to choose what of those came down due to a mentality of colonization, due to culture and sometimes even due to inferiority dilemmas.

Here is a few things you need to know if you are going to intentional about your money and your related goals:

  • People will assume certain things about you but only you know the truth. Just because I am wearing a ring, I must be very old . By the same token, because you are using public transport does not mean you are poor. Think about it.
  • Just because your kids go with bread to school everyday does not mean you are stingy parents. You might be working on something very important at the moment and are just trying to cut certain costs.
  • Just because you are now married does not mean you need to buy a family car. The polo you have can still fit you and your kids for a few years. Besides it’s not that you do family travel needing a bigger car right away.

Again, these are perceptions that people have about us and our financial standings, which unfortunately may or may not be close to the truth. At the end of the day, only you know the numbers and what they can do for you!



6 thoughts on “Facing and dealing with expectations/Perceptions

  1. “At the end of the day, only you know the numbers and what they can do for you!” Thank you for this awesome piece.


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