My boyfriend and I just playing around
In auditing, when you do not know the answer, just say it depends. After that, everyone knows whatever follow is your personal opinion which could be totally unrelated to the topic. Anyhow, life is not an audit but many answers to life’s questions all really do depends. This is influence by our morals and values as well as expectations from your circle and community.
Weddings in black communities are the most expensive parties that one can ever attend. But it was never like that. Something along the way became fashion and no one ever had the guts to challenge and think whether it’s really in our best interest. Is it building us or making us even poorer?
My mum tells me when they got married, my dad was in high school. They got married and Dad went back to finish school so that he can become a teacher to be a good father to his family. How amazing was that. My family was not wealthy at that stage, so how then did my Dad afford a wedding whilst he was in school? Was he saving up for this all his school life? That is almost impossible!
People back in the days distinguished between the wedding and marriage and prioritized the important thing, which is the marriage. Without any money, the parents would host small parties, the couple will exchange the vows and off they went to build their new kitchen in their parents house until they have enough to move out.
Was that not a smart strategy? Why did we then feel the need to change it? Because as African, we were colonized which led us to feeling inferior. In the process, we adopted other practices without questioning how things are done and why they are done this way. This is where the huge expenses came in.
From the white dress, to the expensive rings, to fancy tents and caterings and two days events. What happened to the urgency. Less people had cars back in the days and people married from afar but the weddings were still done in one day? Now because of catering purposes, weddings are spread over two days which means that you should have two sets of dresses for yourself and bridesmaids. If you are paying for the styling artist, that is double.
What went wrong? Why are we letting this cripple us? Why should we spend more in two days tons of N$ that we are not even able to earn in a year? What can we do to change this ? What will happen when we have kids? I was not going to write this until I saw a video of a couple that decide not to spent more than R 2000 on their wedding in South Africa. This is radical but it the reality we need to start embracing.
Like I always say, if you can afford it by all means, go for it. But if you are like the rest of us, please think a little more before doing things that will hurt your ideal future.
If you want to hear my opinions, please stick around for tomorrow’s post.